Hello world,
Feeling a bit sad today, my results were again 'a positive ovulation but not as high as they should to be'. Excuse me, I'm just gonna have a moment;
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what does this mean? I need to up my dosage to 3 pills and fingers crossed we get a level the Dr likes and I'm still married by the end of month 3.
I think the worst thing about chlomid is when the side affects make me a horrible mumma. Just the other night I snapped at Pie in a way that I have snapped before (I didn't touch hurt, just yelled at hr with such anger that I didn't recognise myself!). She burst into tears and started crying for her Daddy. I felt like the worst mumma in the world and joined in with the crying, sobbing how sorry I was and how much I love her BUT sorry doesn't take it back. Sorry doesn't erase it from her little heart and it doesn't make her forget how scared she was of me in that moment. Is this even worth it??? To make matters worse the symptoms haven't even gone away fully this time; my boobs are sooo sore, I'm crazy hormonal, so tired and just feel like absolute crap! I wish I were stronger than the chlomid coaster but right now I feel like its beaten me down.
jodi x
No comments:
Post a Comment