Hello world,
Woohoo! 1st trimester down, when u hit week 13 its not so scary anymore! I let hubby announce it on facebook for his birthday too, he'd been a bit down after some family drama resulted in him and his brother fighting when we announced it to them so I thought 'hey, he deserves some happy congratulations!'. Honestly I feel like I could happily keep this our little secret for a while yet but secrets out now ;-)
Our little Pie is a bit excited by the news too, she doesn't really understand just yet but its all a bit exciting anyway and I'm starting to feel half-way human again finally which helps. I know its early days but I've felt a few flutters that might just be the baby. If I hadn't had Pie I wouldn't recognise them but I'm fairly sure they are little baby flutters. Really looking forward to more flutters and getting to see our baby again at 18 weeks. I'm wishing we had of had a 12week scan now!
jodi x
Friday 11 October 2013
Sick!
Hello world,
My god I'm sick this time around! No vomiting but seriously I was never this nauseous with Piper. If I don't get enough sleep the day is a right off, I just feel so sick all day long! Its oddly satisfying and quite a relief but its still awful LOL.
In exciting news I'm sharing being pregnant with a very good friend again so thats exciting too!
Anyway, I'll blog later, when the computer stops making me feel motion sick!
jodi x
My god I'm sick this time around! No vomiting but seriously I was never this nauseous with Piper. If I don't get enough sleep the day is a right off, I just feel so sick all day long! Its oddly satisfying and quite a relief but its still awful LOL.
In exciting news I'm sharing being pregnant with a very good friend again so thats exciting too!
Anyway, I'll blog later, when the computer stops making me feel motion sick!
Waiting to relax!
Hello world,
I'm just waiting to relax now. I wonder when the point of relaxation will arrive. When I've had an ultra sound? When I can feel daily movements? When I'm holding a baby in my arms? Who knows really? Do mummas ever really relax anyway?
But I'm looking to relax a little more than I currently am so I'm going to have an early ultrasound at 7 weeks. When I miscarried, the lovely staff at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic suggested an early ultrasound to help put my mind at ease next time around and even said I could call them and do it there if I wanted to. So I will.
I had a tiny bit of spotting last night, probably nothing to be concerned about but still enough to make me feel quite nervous. I'm 6 weeks, I was 5 weeks when the long drawn out miscarriage happened last time so that feels like an achievement to make it past 5 weeks and honestly, I feel pregnant. I feel nauseous and super tired, my breasts are still really sore and they look different (one of the first things I noticed when I was pregnant with Piper!). So next week we will get to see our little baby hopefully and I will feel more relaxed :-D
jodi x
I'm just waiting to relax now. I wonder when the point of relaxation will arrive. When I've had an ultra sound? When I can feel daily movements? When I'm holding a baby in my arms? Who knows really? Do mummas ever really relax anyway?
But I'm looking to relax a little more than I currently am so I'm going to have an early ultrasound at 7 weeks. When I miscarried, the lovely staff at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic suggested an early ultrasound to help put my mind at ease next time around and even said I could call them and do it there if I wanted to. So I will.
I had a tiny bit of spotting last night, probably nothing to be concerned about but still enough to make me feel quite nervous. I'm 6 weeks, I was 5 weeks when the long drawn out miscarriage happened last time so that feels like an achievement to make it past 5 weeks and honestly, I feel pregnant. I feel nauseous and super tired, my breasts are still really sore and they look different (one of the first things I noticed when I was pregnant with Piper!). So next week we will get to see our little baby hopefully and I will feel more relaxed :-D
jodi x
2 pink lines
Hello world,
Yep, you read it here first! 2 pink lines, not even little pink lines, strong pink lines!
It feels too early to celebrate of course, in fact I'm partly terrified! My brains full of ranting and raving thoughts that are really scaring the bejesus out of me. The big negative ones are;
I've called up my specialist to order blood tests, I don't want to let my mind get away with me just yet and if there is a baby in there its still very early days and a lot can change...
jodi x
Yep, you read it here first! 2 pink lines, not even little pink lines, strong pink lines!
It feels too early to celebrate of course, in fact I'm partly terrified! My brains full of ranting and raving thoughts that are really scaring the bejesus out of me. The big negative ones are;
- Low day 21 results, does that mean I'll lose the baby?
- Its due date is 14th March 2014, miscarried babies due date was 15th of March 2013; that doesnt seem like a good sign to me! (Piper was due 5th March 2011 - I seem to have a pretty slim fertile window there!)
- We're going to have a baby!!!!!!
I've called up my specialist to order blood tests, I don't want to let my mind get away with me just yet and if there is a baby in there its still very early days and a lot can change...
jodi x
Late
Hello world,
So this week brings with it a late period! So confused! Does that mean that the ovulation results weren't even high enough for an ovulation??? But they were higher this month than last month and I got my period then so why is it now 2 days late?...
If my period decides to take a month off again (or a couple of months off!) then there is nothing that can be done until it decides to return. Just wait. I hate this feeling of hopelessness; just waiting for my body to do what its supposed to! At least if my period arrived like it was supposed to I could be popping those 3 little white pills, raging like a crazy person at my husband, laying awake at all hours of the night then needing to sleep all day due to the skull shattering headaches ; doing something! Not just waiting!
I've still got lots of side affects anyway! Feel sick, breasts sore, PMS on crack, exhausted and headachey and I can't decide if they are the oncoming period or the hang around from last months 10 little pills.
Of course my brain occasionally skims past the idea of a BFP, maybe this month is our miracle month but then I think 'Day 21 results measure progesterone, low progesterone can be a cause of miscarriage... Do I even want a BFP if it will end up in a miscarriage????"
Counting the days, trying not to get my hopes up, just hoping for my period for a change!
jodi x
So this week brings with it a late period! So confused! Does that mean that the ovulation results weren't even high enough for an ovulation??? But they were higher this month than last month and I got my period then so why is it now 2 days late?...
If my period decides to take a month off again (or a couple of months off!) then there is nothing that can be done until it decides to return. Just wait. I hate this feeling of hopelessness; just waiting for my body to do what its supposed to! At least if my period arrived like it was supposed to I could be popping those 3 little white pills, raging like a crazy person at my husband, laying awake at all hours of the night then needing to sleep all day due to the skull shattering headaches ; doing something! Not just waiting!
I've still got lots of side affects anyway! Feel sick, breasts sore, PMS on crack, exhausted and headachey and I can't decide if they are the oncoming period or the hang around from last months 10 little pills.
Of course my brain occasionally skims past the idea of a BFP, maybe this month is our miracle month but then I think 'Day 21 results measure progesterone, low progesterone can be a cause of miscarriage... Do I even want a BFP if it will end up in a miscarriage????"
Counting the days, trying not to get my hopes up, just hoping for my period for a change!
jodi x
More dud ovulation results :-(
Hello world,
Feeling a bit sad today, my results were again 'a positive ovulation but not as high as they should to be'. Excuse me, I'm just gonna have a moment;
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what does this mean? I need to up my dosage to 3 pills and fingers crossed we get a level the Dr likes and I'm still married by the end of month 3.
I think the worst thing about chlomid is when the side affects make me a horrible mumma. Just the other night I snapped at Pie in a way that I have snapped before (I didn't touch hurt, just yelled at hr with such anger that I didn't recognise myself!). She burst into tears and started crying for her Daddy. I felt like the worst mumma in the world and joined in with the crying, sobbing how sorry I was and how much I love her BUT sorry doesn't take it back. Sorry doesn't erase it from her little heart and it doesn't make her forget how scared she was of me in that moment. Is this even worth it??? To make matters worse the symptoms haven't even gone away fully this time; my boobs are sooo sore, I'm crazy hormonal, so tired and just feel like absolute crap! I wish I were stronger than the chlomid coaster but right now I feel like its beaten me down.
jodi x
Feeling a bit sad today, my results were again 'a positive ovulation but not as high as they should to be'. Excuse me, I'm just gonna have a moment;
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what does this mean? I need to up my dosage to 3 pills and fingers crossed we get a level the Dr likes and I'm still married by the end of month 3.
I think the worst thing about chlomid is when the side affects make me a horrible mumma. Just the other night I snapped at Pie in a way that I have snapped before (I didn't touch hurt, just yelled at hr with such anger that I didn't recognise myself!). She burst into tears and started crying for her Daddy. I felt like the worst mumma in the world and joined in with the crying, sobbing how sorry I was and how much I love her BUT sorry doesn't take it back. Sorry doesn't erase it from her little heart and it doesn't make her forget how scared she was of me in that moment. Is this even worth it??? To make matters worse the symptoms haven't even gone away fully this time; my boobs are sooo sore, I'm crazy hormonal, so tired and just feel like absolute crap! I wish I were stronger than the chlomid coaster but right now I feel like its beaten me down.
jodi x
Month 2 - 2 times the trouble!
Hello world,
Good news, my OB checked my results in time to up my dosage, bad news my 5 little white pills went to 10 little white pills. I don't know if the side affects were worse, the headache was perhaps more persistent and the angry/teary balance was like one of those birds dipping its head in the angry cup and coming up for a breath of fresh teary air repeatedly. But at least this time I knew what to expect. I'm scared tho as I've been visiting Dr Google and my day 21 blood results were really low :-( Wonder if we will ever make this baby.
jodi x
Good news, my OB checked my results in time to up my dosage, bad news my 5 little white pills went to 10 little white pills. I don't know if the side affects were worse, the headache was perhaps more persistent and the angry/teary balance was like one of those birds dipping its head in the angry cup and coming up for a breath of fresh teary air repeatedly. But at least this time I knew what to expect. I'm scared tho as I've been visiting Dr Google and my day 21 blood results were really low :-( Wonder if we will ever make this baby.
jodi x
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