2 pink lines

Hello world,

Yep, you read it here first! 2 pink lines, not even little pink lines, strong pink lines!

It feels too early to celebrate of course, in fact I'm partly terrified! My brains full of ranting and raving thoughts that are really scaring the bejesus out of me. The big negative ones are;

• Low day 21 results, does that mean I'll lose the baby? 
• Its due date is 14th March 2014, miscarried babies due date was 15th of March 2013; that doesnt seem like a good sign to me! (Piper was due 5th March 2011 - I seem to have a pretty slim fertile window there!)

Of course then there is the other major one:

• We're going to have a baby!!!!!!

So it was a Wednesday morning, my period was 5 days late and I had a pregnancy test laying around (name me a TTC woman who doesn't!?) so I took it, mainly because I thought 'Once I see its negative, then I can get the hope out of my head and just deal with the waiting.' but a miracle happened and 2 strong lines appeared, and quickly. I went and got back in bed in shock and called out to hubby who was already up and about. He came in, I said nothing and held it up, he almost burst with excitement. Wow. This is the moment we've been working towards!

I've called up my specialist to order blood tests, I don't want to let my mind get away with me just yet and if there is a baby in there its still very early days and a lot can change...

jodi x

Late

Hello world,

So this week brings with it a late period! So confused! Does that mean that the ovulation results weren't even high enough for an ovulation??? But they were higher this month than last month and I got my period then so why is it now 2 days late?...

If my period decides to take a month off again (or a couple of months off!) then there is nothing that can be done until it decides to return. Just wait. I hate this feeling of hopelessness; just waiting for my body to do what its supposed to! At least if my period arrived like it was supposed to I could be popping those 3 little white pills, raging like a crazy person at my husband, laying awake at all hours of the night then needing to sleep all day due to the skull shattering headaches ; doing something! Not just waiting!

I've still got lots of side affects anyway! Feel sick, breasts sore, PMS on crack, exhausted and headachey and I can't decide if they are the oncoming period or the hang around from last months 10 little pills.

Of course my brain occasionally skims past the idea of a BFP, maybe this month is our miracle month but then I think 'Day 21 results measure progesterone, low progesterone can be a cause of miscarriage... Do I even want a BFP if it will end up in a miscarriage????"

Counting the days, trying not to get my hopes up, just hoping for my period for a change!

jodi x